Intimacy Readings for the Collective with Kim Krans’ Animal Spirit by Aspen Drake

Written by: Aspen Drake Published on: December 10, 2021


As the seasons change and things continue to grow and/or die in my yard against my wishes, I am reminded of our need to surrender to the wisdom of nature. With that in mind, I have enlisted the guidance of Kim Krans’ Animal Spirit oracle deck to guide this month’s Sexscopes article.

Sagittarius Bat

Is there an energy vampire in your life, sucking away your precious time and emotions? Because that’s not the kind of ‘sucking’ we strive for in this here sex-positive column. Seriously though, the bat is a nocturnal creature and in this card may signify the need to tap into your more subtle senses of observation. If something seems like it’s ‘off’, it may very well be off. A new dawn always comes after the darkness, and with those first rays of light this lil bat wants you to shed past stories and baggage so you can fly a little bit easier come next spring. The bat is our only flying mammal. Fly high, you hot-blooded creature!

Capricorn Fire Ant

It seems you may be drawn to partners or dating situations that feed your imbalances, rather than countering them. If you feel there is aggression, rigidity, or the need to make or follow orders in your relationships, you may be off course. (Despite the fact that these would otherwise be descriptors associated with fun bedroom activities). Perhaps some solo time is needed now to cool down a bit. As the guidebook states: “Fire Ants are surprisingly sensitive, don’t pretend the heat isn’t getting to you”.* 

*if you are experiencing heat or burning while peeing, that is a different story and I advise a doctor’s visit.

Aquarius Sea Serpent

Representing the energy of expression, the sea serpent encourages us to express ourselves creatively and sexually without fear or shame.* Wear that daring outfit that’s been waiting in your closet, talk to your partner about using that new pleasure toy you bought on Black Friday (because you’d basically be 

money if you didn’t get this deal). This month we are choosing forgiveness and fun over shame and judgment! I mean look at the sea serpent? Do you think he experiences shame and guilt? No. He is living his best life self fellating, and you should be too. 

*standard rates of shame still apply, including but not limited to: public indecency, contacting ‘that one’ ex, and oversharing on social media.

Pisces Whale

The name of the game this month is: Emotional Stability. Whale personalities are not afraid of emotional expression and difficult experiences, because they have beeeeen through it. I think I speak for most of us when I say after these past few years of chaos, we are ready to seek out people and situations that are both grounding and supportive. Feminine forces of compassion and communication are your friend at this time, whether coming from a partner or friend (friendship can be romantic too!). You could also be tapping into these strengths yourself through meditation, a spiritual practice, or connecting with ancestors or guides. Sorry, this section isn’t funny Pisces. I just feel like the whale is a powerfully peaceful presence that doesn’t use humor to deflect like some people do.

Aries Mouse

When I think of Aries, I think larger than life, and the only thing large about mice is their audacity (looking at you Stuart Little – who got adopted from an orphanage instead of a real human child). The energy of this card is nervous or nitpicky. Be careful of getting caught up this month when tending to details. Instead of being organized and prepared, you may find yourself scurrying around with no real purpose. Are you judging your potential partners too harshly? I know you are great and want someone to stack up to your greatness, but perhaps you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself. Are you rushing into intimacy without laying a foundation first, or are you going through the motions with a partner but ultimately distracted from really connecting with them? You can build yourself a cozy lil nest full of love, like the pictures on the Sleepytime tea boxes, you just gotta focus on not getting in a tizzy over it all.

Taurus Lamb

The lamb brings an important message, but can only be heard in the quiet. Listen extra carefully, because you may receive this message from a friend, a stranger (this reading perhaps?), or from within. Has your partner been trying to communicate something to you? Or have you been ignoring some of your own needs? Allow the space for these messages to come through this month. Maybe taking time out of the busy holiday season to go on a special one-on-one date with your sweetie (or taking yourself out on the town! Or going to town on yourself at home) will create a setting for messages to come through. Remember, being quiet isn’t always about being timid or concerned, it can also be based in knowingness and inner peace.

Gemini Hummingbird 

This card is all about energy and positivity Gemmy. Hummingbirds have learned where to go to gather nectar and return to those places regularly to replenish. We too should be returning to places of creativity, relaxation, and replenishment regularly. The hummingbird’s heart can beat as fast as 1,260 beats per minute, almost as fast as an irritated Gemini’s mind can race. Harness some of that air sign energy by taking a class or trying something totally new. Is there a shared hobby that your partner and you could take part in together? Or a class that could help you up your game in the ‘frisky business’ department? Offerings from local and online businesses, artists, and enthusiasts abound these days – it’s up to you to decide which of these to go to for proverbial replenishment.

Cancer Phoenix

Ah yes, the fabled creature of transformation. Got baggage? Burn it. I remember one of my friends in middle school gathered all the stuff her boyfriend of two weeks gave her after they broke up and burned it in a wastebasket outside. Looking back I think it was a bit unnecessary, but in the moment it felt RIGHT. The Phoenix has mastered a slightly more constructive way of burning past impurities – through practice and dedication. That’s right folks, groan all you want, but you are going to have to make conscious choices to heal from your past and head in the direction of hunka hunka burning love.* 

*Please also see the note I left for Capricorn re: heat and burning.

Leo Swan

I wasn’t surprised to see a swan show up for you, ya lil show off. The swan is actually considered to be sacred in some practices, which I’m sure you are pleased to hear, Leo. She symbolizes heightened creativity in the realms of writing and reflection (probably because so much time is spent looking in the water…haha get it, reflection) This card suggests that there is something on the inside to be witnessed, not on the outside. See if you can find what this inner voice is saying through writing or journaling. Need inspiration? This is your permission to seek out the corniest romance or spiciest smut to read this month. If you feel like you know what’s been waiting to be said, see if you can write it down in a sappy love letter to your sweetie or your future self. If that’s not quite the vibe you’re on, I suppose sexting could be seen as a form of creative writing?

Virgo Dolphin

The dolphin symbolizes a person who is drawn to the healing arts. This card is also a boon to you Virgo, a blessing is on its way! Is there some healing yet to be done in your personal or shared love life? It’s possible that reaching out to a professional, such as a sex therapist or relationship counselor, could help you on the next part of your journey of romantic growth. I would also be remiss to not add that the dolphin is one of the animals that scientists have determined to have sex for pleasure. If you find it in your capacity to do that as well this month, I encourage you to do so! Prioritize your pleasure in healthy ways. 

Libra Tiger

Sensuality and receptivity are heightened in the dark and in the dark the tigress reigns. As the moon grows larger throughout this month, focus on ways you can grow your own sense of personal power and ease. We are aiming for passion, strength, and femininity – but not overstimulation. Basically, the name of the game is candles, massages, baths, low lighting, moonlit romps – whatever brings out the wildness in you without having to get into uncomfortable pinchy shoes. You remember the scene from Lion King when he and Nala are reunited and they are rolling in the grass under the moon? Yeah. That vibe. No pressure or anything. Get sexy, get relaxed, have fun.

Scorpio Nightingale

Oh Scorp, apparently we are being admonished to open the bridge between our heart and our voice. However that needs to happen is up to you. Write it, say it, sing it, scream it into your pillow if you need to. Opening up that portal of communication will help us alchemize shyness and proverbial lumps in our throats into healing and fearlessness. Then we can use that throat game for other things, as the kids say.* 

*I sincerely apologize for the crassness, but I am contractually obligated** to make these terrible jokes where they fit. I am currently workshopping a follow-up joke using “crASSness” or perhaps how something could “fit”, but I decided to keep you abreast*** of the situation instead of following through. 

**The contract is with myself. 

***tee hee, a breast

Aspen Drake

Aspen is a Dallas-born, California-raised writer who currently resides in Austin, Texas. When not day jobbing, Aspen is writing and performing comedy, and creating very specific playlists on Spotify. In true Gemini fashion, she is always trying out different vehicles of communication and expression. You can check out her most recent posts on Instagram at @asp_hole